party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
