Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
