I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
