After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
