Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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