Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hippo gnu deer
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
