Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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