escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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