Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
