Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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