booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
