Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
