the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Someone came in the potted fern
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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