hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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