He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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