so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You can't special order awesome
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
