chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
