Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
