the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
