Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
