If i come over, it means nothing
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
