dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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