WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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