so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just had sex on a roof
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
