And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
