In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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