you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
