I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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