He asked me if I "almost moaned"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
don't judge my taste in strippers
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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