And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
