***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
