I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
