How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
