You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
