he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am one with the molecules
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
