I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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