Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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