why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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