Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
