I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
