I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
