He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
