it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
