Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
