Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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