Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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