Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
