i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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