Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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