So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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