It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
