I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
