I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
